Have you ever felt the swift kick of defeat? I don't mean something like losing a soccer game, or have someone beating you in a chess tournament. I'm talking full-on hitting the wall of failure. I hit it once, many years ago, and had hoped that I would never have to feel it again. I was wrong.
Lately, I had been wondering if I had been trying to tackle too much. You know, had I bitten off more than I was able to chew, let alone swallow. I guess I had.
A few nights ago, I had a massive breakdown. I felt deflated, irked, exhausted, relieved. Sometimes, you try to do the right things for yourself, and occasionally, they're in a round-about manner. Then, that which you had attempted for so long suddenly becomes useless, pointless, a jumbled mess and a headache.
Next thing you know, you're left evaluating yourself and your options. That was me. I've done my soul-searching. I don't typically pray to any gods, and now I don't have to as great-gram in the after-life has certainly told them to take a seat. I asked great-gram to show me the way, to give me some indication as to what direction my feet ought to walk in.
I think I may have found my compass, and it seems to be showing me a way to go. I won't say what it is at the moment, as there are a few things I want to firm up first before I go telling the world. What I can say, though, is that changes are coming. The brick wall of defeat should be on its way to destruction soon.
Hold on tight. This could be a bumpy ride.
