Review: The Hobbit

I have a confession to make. I'm really not a fan of J.R.R Tolkien, so I warn you now that my review of The Hobbit will be biased, and likely to offend literary diehards. I read The Hobbit in grade six, as it was required reading, and I hated it so much that I never finished it. The only reason why I suffered to the end this time was because I know it'll be on the exam. However, previous feelings and experiences aside, I promise I'll try to find something good to say about it, but don't expect sunshine and roses.

My first problem with Tolkien is that I find he's guilty of giving his readers too much information. I'm glad there are images he wants his readers to envision, but he gives so many details of every nook, cranny, crack within the cranny, and spider within the crack that there's nothing left for the imagination. However, if you're someone like Peter Jackson, who wants to make such a book into a film, minimal thought about how the set ought to look is required because every last damn detail is already in the novel.

My second problem was Tolkien's assumption that his audience is full of idiots. I can clearly read, and since The Hobbit is a hyperbole of detail, I both know and understand what's going on. I do not need an explanation in brackets, and I presume that an epic battle of sorts is going to occur later in the story, so putting in brackets (paraphrasing), "I will write of a battle later" is redundant. Thank you, Captain Obvious, for informing me that an epic battle will be written down later in the book. It's not like I was expecting it to be written beforehand.

Also, and I'm certain I'm about to royally offend every Tolkien fan in existence, but I found The Hobbit to be boring as hell, and far too repetitive. The characters walk, they lose something, they're given assistance, they get into trouble, things get lost, they get saved. They walk, are given horses and food, they get into trouble, food runs out and horses die, they get into trouble, they get saved. And on and on the circle goes. Creativity to the max there (please note the sarcasm).

And the characters. Oh god, could they be any more irritating? The only worthwhile character is Gandalf. He's sage, magic, and is smart enough to get the hell out of dodge before Bilbo, such a pain in the arse, starts whining again. Yeah... Don't get me started on Bilbo. For a character who's supposed to be brave, and the be-all and end-all, he's such a whining, miserable, whimpy pain-in-the-ass.

However, there is one thing that left me very pleased with The Hobbit: When I was finished reading it.